The creator of SimCity and the Sims, game-designer/visionary/genius Will Wright, has brought us a revolutionary new game that will probably change the face of gaming, much the way his previous games have. Spore's Creature Creator gives anyone the ability to create new lifeforms and then make movies of their creations dancing and looking cute, etc. But what do we mere mortals do with such a tool? Why create porn of course!
This Spore monkey self-fellatio creation would make Ron Jeremy proud!
Apparently, to be a successful cooking show host you have to be good at more than just cooking -- you have to know how to handle the cock. So here's a tribute to Ms. Ray:
Despite all the lascivious "dating" shows and steamy programming on MTV, apparently the producers of this former music channel have decided to draw the line on cats fucking. Mind you, this is something you can watch on the Animal Planet with your kids during the day. PETA has launched a funny commercial along the lines of when the owner's away, the cats will play, to encourage everyone to neuter and spay their pets. You can view the tongue-in-cheek ad, entitled Sex and the Kitty for yourself:
PETA used both real cats as well as animatronic ones for the "in heat" sequences. Daphna Nachminovitch, Vice President of PETA, comments on the controversial ad: more >>
Porn gets political, sort of. And we have the exclusive stills.
Mike Horner portrays a governor with a penchant for call girls in Hustler's spoof of the Eliot Spitzer sex scandal in
Gov Love - The Eliot Splitz-her Story. Director Stuart Canterbury couldn't have cast a better lead than Mike Horner, whose acting prowess won him acclaim as the dad in Hustler's sitcom spoof, Not the Bradys XXX (2007). We give props to Horner's comedic timing and his excellent imitation of Eliot's goofy rubber face.
Hot off the production lines, Gov Love also features raven-haired beauty, Cassandra Cruz in the role of high-priced call girl, "Kristen." In March, Hustler offered the real Alexandre Dupre, who also went by "Kristen" with her clients, $1 million dollars to bare it all in their magazine. The offer was turned down, but that didn't stop Hustler from taking advantage of a political sex scandal in true Flynt form. According to Hustler's National Sales Manager, demand for Gov Love has been considerable. more >>
After watching this "educational" video it is safe to say I will never look at a vagina the same way again. Comedian/writer Amy Sedaris voices 'Paulie the Penis' in this parody of the sex-ed PSA.
Best line:
You might have an erotic dream... about some special lady... where you touch her in a special place... that smells like the sea.
After denouncing her adult past, Traci Lords went on to do respectable mainstream work such as this innocent work out video from the 80's.
Perhaps I'm mistaken on this point, but either Traci Lords is dry humping the floor while the camera zooms in on her scantily clad tits and ass, or she is having imaginary sex with us. Both work for me.
The biggest cross-over star of the adult industry, Jenna Jameson, is headlining a Sony Pictures' comedy horror film alongside co-star Robert Englund (most famously known as Freddy Krueger). Jay Lee's Zombie Strippers takes two genres that go together like peanut butter and jelly in a happy, horny marriage of tits and guts: the zombie film and the stripper B-movie.
In a recent interview, when asked if the film is as promising as it sounds, Robert Englund told Horror Yearbook,
Oh Zombie Strippers, OH MY GOD. It’s well… I’ll just give you two words: Jenna Jameson. Does that explain it? There’s horror comedy, there’s Grindhouse and this is a new hybrid. This is softcore horror, that’s what I’m calling it. It’s for all those dorm rats out there, when you’re horny.
Even Jenna's UFC beau, Tito Ortiz, has a role in this title as a bouncer (pictured in upper left of film poster). Zombie Strippers is scheduled for a theatrical release on April 18, 2008 in 13 cities across the US, but I've read that if you really want to see it - tell your local theater - because it's not too late to be added to the April release. Watch the trailer and get the tentative list of opening cities for Zombie Strippersafter the jump. more >>
Anal bleaching, it may not be for everyone, but we should all know how it's done!
The best line in my opinion is when Randolph Mantooth tells the unsuspecting transcriber from Jersey how to apply the creme:
Using your index finger and your forefinger you simply scoop a goodly amount of the soothing Lumi-Taint creme out of the jar and apply a generous amount throughout the area, gently massaging it into the skin around the anus fuschia.
"Rubber baby buggy bumpers" is just one of the ninety-nine different euphemisms for boobs featured in this parody of 80's hit song, 99 Red Balloons.
The giganto-boobs at 1:24 are a terrible Photoshop job. But the highlight has got to be the five second clip of the red balloon dance scene from Scrubs (at 2:00). Oh, and you're welcome!
Grandma can still shake those money makers... and boy are they HOT!
Featured Tassel-Twirler: The legendary burlesque dancer who rose to fame in the 1960's, Satan's Angel. Here's what she writes about her entertainment career:
As my career progressed so did the number of my tassels. They twirled from five points of my anatomy, with and without fire.
Who knew anchormen could be so interesting? Usually it's boring stuff like the news. But not with Fox -- they like to spice things up, even in their news blooper reels!
The newscaster with the glasses looks about ready to jump his partner's bones. I think he wanted to explore her wild side some more, but those darn news cameras got in the way.
First rate cunt-lapping!
The instructor is sexy, but are real Geishas supposed to show that much leg?
This is supposedly a Japanese hooker training video. It seems almost like a parody, but when it comes to all things East Asian, I never know when they're being serious or funny.
Mitchell Lichtenstein's Teeth is the bizarre horror film of an innocent virgin, Dawn O'Keefe, who discovers she has teeth in her vagina. The plot also includes Dawn's stepbrother making unwanted advances towards her and her active participation in a local chastity group set against the backdrop of burgeoning teenage sexuality with a twist -- oh, and the fact she has to floss her pussy. Ok, I made that last part up, but should she see a gyno or a dentist?
more >>
There's a group of [crazy] San Francisco entrepreneurs attempting to create the ultimate male masturbation device: The Rubbot. No, I'm not making this up. I wish I could come up with stuff this original, but alas, I have to rely on folks with apparently a lot of free time on their hands.
Okay, it's not going to clean your dishes or laugh at your jokes, but it can open a cold one!
Jesse Jane teases us in this softcore clip from Celeste's Posh Kitten, which is a hardcore film where Jesse Jane fucks Jean Val Jean and Evan Stone (in separate scenes). Jesse also has some fetish girl-girl play with the smoking Jenaveve Jolie. Posh Kitten holds a special place in my horny heart because it's the first movie in which I saw the delectable Sophia Santi, who does a parallel masturbation scene with Jenaveve.
Jesse Jane is so ridiculously hot, I almost came just watching this video -- and I'm a mostly straight woman! I can watch her eat that pink creme puff and go bouncy-bounce all day. But alas, I have to work.
I've included a link to the film's photo gallery for your viewing pleasure.
more >>
This commercial for the annual Victoria's Secret Fashion Show features Heidi playing with her luscious breasts for about 30 seconds. But before you get all excited, it's pretty silly. Apparently when the director said, "could you play with your tits for a bit?", she took it literally.
Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving! Yesterday was crazy so I'm sorry for the lack of posts, but I'm back to rock the blog. Err, yeah.
There's a video on the Internet that was banned from the popular news aggregator, Digg.com, being deemed too risqué by the editors. This same video was banned from the Google-owned video sharing site, YouTube, also for the adult nature of its content. This doesn't seem like a big deal as plenty of video clips with adult content find their way on inappropriate web sites. It comes as no surprise that porn would be banned on web sites that are popular among minors, such as YouTube. Except, this particular video is a montage of 100% Fox News content as aired on Fox News to practically every household in America, during prime time. more >>
With all this Britney Spears media coverage, we thought it was about time to get in on it. Unfortunately, the closest thing we could find was Ron Jeremy in fishnets and a blonde wig.
Ron's got a career as a Britney impersonator if porn doesn't work out.
more >>
