Last year, Barbie Cummings was stopped for speeding in Wilson County, Tennessee. She was going 92 mph in her pink Honda Accord, where the posted speed limit is seventy. During the routine traffic stop Tennessee State Trooper James Randy Moss found alcohol and illegal painkillers in Cummings' vehicle. Trooper Moss proceeded to inform the young Ms. Cummings that possession of illegal narcotics would prevent her from leaving the state of Tennessee. That's when Cummings broke down and cried, telling him she was a porn star under contract and had to travel to LA at least once a month to earn her living. Out of desperation, she then offered to show Moss her oral skills.
In the video below, which includes live interview footage of Barbie Cummings, the narrator describes the events of May 7th rather hilariously, but makes no mention of the painkillers and the aftermath (that's what I'm here for, yay!).
The ever so brilliant James Randy Moss, not to be confused with New England Patriots' star wideout 'Randy Moss', dumped Cummings' illegal painkillers into surrounding bushes and ignored her container of alcohol.
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Car wash vacuums are not exactly sex toys, but a 29-year-old Michigan man thought he'd give it a go anyway. Unfortunately, the Saginaw Police didn't find the man's display of "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a public car wash very appropriate. In fact, the officer who got out of his car and approached the hoover happy man on foot had this to say of the incident:
I've seen some strange things, but this is the weirdest thing I ever heard.
Heard? That's right, the sound of a dick being sucked up by an industrial vac must be pretty, um interesting.
The incident occurred at 6:45 AM on Thursday, so perhaps the man had a nasty case of morning wood with no relief in sight? If he had only heard of Vortex Vibrations, perhaps the humiliation and visit to Saginaw County Jail could have all been avoided: more >>
We reported that Janine was in trouble with the IRS in July. Well, according to MSNBC Janine has pleaded guilty for failure to pay thousands in taxes. She faces fines and possible jail time.
We can't help notice that Vivid predicted this a while ago ...
Late in the evening of August 7th, Hong Kong police receive a call for help.
Xing, a 41 year old, has attempted to satisfy himself by sticking his penis into one of the swiss-cheese stamped metal benches at LanTian Park. However, as Xing grows aroused, his dick swells with blood and he can no longer extricate himself from the hole. In his panic, he calls the local authorities. more >>
An Australian man had to undergo an hour and half of surgery for sixteen stainless steel washers that were tightly lodged on the shaft of his penis.
Fire rescue officers were on the scene at the man's home around 3 AM on Monday in an attempt to dislodge the washers, which proved too tight for routine extraction. The man had to be transported to a nearby hospital in the north-west Sydney suburb of Hornsby, where surgeons were forced to use special cutting devices provided by fire services as the hospital's normal ring-removers were too small for the girth of the washers.
Unfortunately for the gene pool, this genius did not suffer any lasting damage, but according to news reports, the "mysterious" circumstances around which he managed to get sixteen washers stuck on his penis still remain unknown. Now, I'm no forensic accident investigator, but here's a theory provided by yours truly: more >>
A 24 year old man was issued a citation in Forth Worth Texas for watching porn on his car's 10-inch DVD player... while driving. A passing patrol officer noticed the images of "multiple naked people" as the cars passed each other. This bright individual was also cited for not having a driver's license - and - for having an open container of alcohol in his car (a beer). more >>
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