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Sunny Lane Sparkles as Alice in Cal Vista's Alice
[ metro ] [ sunny lane ] [ review ] [ hot release ] [ parody ] [ cal vista ]
 

Cal Vista (Metro) has released a modern alternative take on an old classic in Erica McClean's Alice (2010). This is the sexual journey of a young woman exploring her free-spirited, budding womanhood. Our giggly Alice (played by Booble Girl of the Year, Sunny Lane) follows the sexy, White Rabbit (Andy San Dimas) down the hole into a color-washed world of the new and strange where she encounters the sexualized embodiments of popular Lewis Carroll characters. This is not a direct parody or straight-forward porn interpretation as the directors take artistic liberties in keeping the plot and dialogue minimal while maintaining the sex as primary focus.

The movie opens with Kimberly Kane's sultry voice narrating as we are introduced to Alice's world. Kimberly's character is engrossed in a (porno)graphic novel as Alice grows sleepy. We see our sexy White Rabbit beckon Alice to follow her down a well. Alice falls into a brave new world where she meets such characters as the hip-hoppy dual-personality Tweedle Dee-Dum (Aiden Starr), the mellow Caterpillar (Otto Bauer), the Cheshire Cat (Mikey Butders), the Mad Hatter (Evan Stone), the Red Queen (April Flores), the Doormouse (Katie St. Ives) and the March Hare (Seth Gamble).
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Batman XXX: Holy Bat Sex!
[ review ] [ hot release ] [ parody ] [ vivid ]
 


Riddle me this, riddle me that, who's afraid of the big-dicked bat?

There are few porn parodies I am more excited to watch than Axel Braun's Batman XXX. Having grown up watching the old Adam West Batman TV series (reruns), I knew this would be hit or miss -- and either way, it would be epic.

The costuming and sets are indeed epic. Braun crosses his t's and dots those i's in making sure everything is, much like the original series, 60's pop art camp comedy. The hair and makeup on the ladies matches exactly to the original characters. The dresses, the lingerie - down to the stockings and garters - are all impressively 60's Batman. That is if the original series had large, hard dicks and wet, eager pussies.

The movie with sex is two hours in length, but the film includes 25 minutes of nonsex storyline that is entertaining on its own. In fact, you can watch the non-sex version from the special features on the DVD. The special features are also loaded with behind the scenes, casting footage, interviews and a photo slide show.

But let's face it, you probably did not get Batman XXX for the PG-13 rated version.
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Wankers Away
[ masturbation ] [ parody ] [ kinkart ]
 


Hey sexy, you can bomb me any time.
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Hustler Does Who's Nailin' Paylin
[ hustler ] [ hot release ] [ politics ] [ parody ] [ lisa ann ]
 


Hustler's latest parody, Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?, just wrapped up production and the first scene is now available on Video on Demand (VOD) to Hustler.com subscribers, including new members. As the folks at Hustler put it, why wait for the release of an actual Sarah Palin sex tape when Hustler has taken the time to make one for you?

Who’s Nailin’ Paylin? stars our favorite brunette MILF Lisa Ann as "Serra Paylin", Nina Hartley as Hillary Clinton, Jada Fire as Condoleeza Rice and Mike Horner as Bill O'Reilly. Lisa Ann has aged very well, and though she certainly is a dead ringer for Governor Palin, in my humble opinion, she's the hotter version. If you don't believe me, judge for yourself by viewing the teaser vid and stills from the set of Who's Nailin' Paylin below.
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Lee Stone Unleashes His Inner Herman in Munsters XXX
[ hot release ] [ hustler ] [ parody ] [ halloween ] [ review ] [ lee stone ]
 


Halloween is just 30 days away and Hustler brings us a real treat with This Ain't the Munsters XXX. If you're like me, you've probably imagined Marilyn's character getting it on with numerous gentleman callers, wondered whether all of Herman's parts work, and if Lily is a screamer. Well, Anton Slayer has given our imagination a boost by bringing the Munster family to life in vivid color. Of course, Slayer had plenty of help from a willing, talented cast.

Don't expect a plot-heavy Will Ryder feature, as from the moment the first disc starts up, we're greeted with Sammie Rhodes masturbating in grandpa's lab. Slayer focuses more on the sex action with rich sets and costuming than the acting between hardcore takes. Despite this, all the actors play their roles well, especially Lee Stone as Herman. He captures the famous "O" face and flaying arm gesture to the T, including in his sex scene with Roxy Deville as Lily Munster. This is exactly how I imagined Herman doing Lily -- enthusiastically in a cemetery with a brand new giant dick!
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Not Bewitched XXX is Pure Porn Magic
[ adam and eve ] [ xplay ] [ parody ] [ hot release ] [ youtube ]
 
Adam & Eve and X-Play have teamed up to bring us another Will Ryder directed spoof, Not Bewitched XXX, which follows on the heels of his previous successful parody, Not the Bradys XXX (X-Play and Hustler, 2007).

Not Bewitched XXX stars Jenna Haze as sexy witch-wife Samantha, Nina Hartley as the fiery Endora, Mike Horner as Daryl and Teagan Presley as baby Tabitha, who has been turned into an 18 year old sexpot by the magically-challenged Aunt Clara (Eva Angelina). The film also stars Ron Jeremy as Dr. Bombay, Michelle Avanti as the nosy neighbor, and James Bartholet as Daryl's boss, Larry. Heck, even the current reigning AVN Female Performer of the Year, Sasha Grey, has a hot office fuck scene.

There's interracial (Michelle Avanti and Nathan Threat), plenty of cum eating, an 8-girl orgy with Aurora Snow and Sunny Lane, and Nina Hartley is a redheaded MILF! The film can be played with the sitcom canned laugh track or as a regular porno.

Of course, we've got exclusive promo and hardcore stills from Not Bewitched XXX, courtesy of the good folks at X-Play. Read on and also watch a couple of their trailers, including a behind the scenes look at the filming.
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New Zealand's Top Dating Site?
[ new zealand ] [ parody ]
 
Looking for sheep love? Well, look no further! The AdultSheepFinder claims to be the Internet's top Ewe-Love site. This tongue-and-cheek chortal portal, which appears to poke fun at the expense of New Zealanders (no doubt created by Aussies, I am told) has some hilarious lines including:
...if you would like to know more about Sheep Shagging we can recommend the following literature: Lonely Planet - New Zealand Edition.
Should you actually click on any of their featured sheep, you'll be greeted with a CONGRATULATIONS You are Truly Fuckin Sick! banner followed by:
You just tried to pick up a "Sheep" on an Internet dating Portal?

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An Alternative to Abstinence Ed?
[ sex ed ] [ parody ]
 
Tired of penetration and good sex? Here's a less sexy alternative for the 8th grader in you!



Highlights include a weak female orgasm at 1:06 shortly following this endorsement:
Sensual stretching is as arousing, if not more so, than standard 8th grade sex.

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Spitzer's Sex Scandal Gets the Hustler Touch in Gov Love
[ hustler ] [ hot release ] [ parody ] [ politics ] [ youtube ]
 


Porn gets political, sort of. And we have the exclusive stills.

Mike Horner portrays a governor with a penchant for call girls in Hustler's spoof of the Eliot Spitzer sex scandal in Gov Love - The Eliot Splitz-her Story. Director Stuart Canterbury couldn't have cast a better lead than Mike Horner, whose acting prowess won him acclaim as the dad in Hustler's sitcom spoof, Not the Bradys XXX (2007). We give props to Horner's comedic timing and his excellent imitation of Eliot's goofy rubber face.

Hot off the production lines, Gov Love also features raven-haired beauty, Cassandra Cruz in the role of high-priced call girl, "Kristen." In March, Hustler offered the real Alexandre Dupre, who also went by "Kristen" with her clients, $1 million dollars to bare it all in their magazine. The offer was turned down, but that didn't stop Hustler from taking advantage of a political sex scandal in true Flynt form. According to Hustler's National Sales Manager, demand for Gov Love has been considerable.
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Paulie Penis On Puberty
[ parody ] [ youtube ] [ sex ed ]
 
After watching this "educational" video it is safe to say I will never look at a vagina the same way again. Comedian/writer Amy Sedaris voices 'Paulie the Penis' in this parody of the sex-ed PSA.



Best line:
You might have an erotic dream... about some special lady... where you touch her in a special place... that smells like the sea.
 
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Texas Vibrator Massacre Features Death by Sex Toy
[ hot release ] [ loaded digital ] [ parody ] [ roxy deville ] [ rob rotten ]
 


Rob Rotten, the performer/director with "Poison" conspicuously tattooed along the top of his penis, has earned strong reviews for his latest feature, Texas Vibrator Massacre. This is not your father's porn to say the least, but the film is a parody of the original 1984 cult-classic, Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There's still plenty of gore - with a lot of hardcore sex - oh, and did I mention the 2.75 horse-power, gasoline-fueled Honda concrete vibrator? This device whose original purpose was to get air bubbles out of freshly poured concrete has been modified to be safe enough (I suppose) to rock the pussy, which is precisely what it does.

The cast is headlined by Roxy DeVille playing the sole survivor, but also includes heavy hitters Herschel Savage and Dirty Harry, as well as notable lovelies Jamie Elle, Daisy Tanks and Ruby Knox. Porn starlet Roxy DeVille tells Mike Albo (AVN) of her role in the film:

We're shooting the beginning sequence that's based really closely on the original van scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I'll also be duct-taped, tied and covered in blood. I'll have prosthetic organs thrown at me while the crazy family eats dinner at their table. I'm blowing Grandpa! He's being played by Dirty Harry, and Rob told him he's getting paid to NOT get his dick hard. In the original movie, Grandpa couldn't swing his hammer to kill the girl. In our movie, he can't get his dick hard. I'm so excited, I can't even tell you.

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Brooke Marks Redefines the Webcam Dance Genre
[ tease me ] [ parody ] [ brooke marks ]
 

Bubbly Florida blonde, Brooke Marks, proves that not only is she sexy, but she can tease us with more than just her boobs and ass. With a wicked sense of humor, she invents ten new styles of striptease that may or may not catch on. Most likely not.



For scariest webcam dance, it's a toss up between "Xenu slumbers eternal" (#9) and Ricky Henderson (#8). Honorable mention goes to insecurity (#3) and paranoia (#5).

 
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Taint a Laughing Matter
[ advertising ] [ parody ] [ youtube ]
 
Anal bleaching, it may not be for everyone, but we should all know how it's done!



The best line in my opinion is when Randolph Mantooth tells the unsuspecting transcriber from Jersey how to apply the creme:
Using your index finger and your forefinger you simply scoop a goodly amount of the soothing Lumi-Taint creme out of the jar and apply a generous amount throughout the area, gently massaging it into the skin around the anus fuschia.
 
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99 Words for Boobs
[ youtube ] [ parody ]
 
"Rubber baby buggy bumpers" is just one of the ninety-nine different euphemisms for boobs featured in this parody of 80's hit song, 99 Red Balloons.



The giganto-boobs at 1:24 are a terrible Photoshop job. But the highlight has got to be the five second clip of the red balloon dance scene from Scrubs (at 2:00). Oh, and you're welcome!
 
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What's a Cleveland Steamer?
[ sex ed ] [ parody ]
 
Growing up I used to watch these cheesy Public Service Announcements (PSA's) about 'just saying no to drugs' and not talking to strangers ('Only you can put out a forest fire!'). Finally, someone's come up with a more realistic PSA.



I did not actually know what a Cleveland Steamer was until I looked it up on Wikipedia after watching this video:
The Cleveland steamer is a form of coprophilia [AKA scat], where a man or a woman defecates on a partner's chest. There is also an alternative method where a man or a woman defecates on a partner's chest then spreads the feces around with his or her buttocks in a sexual nature.
My question is, how do you spread around feces with your buttocks in a sexual nature?
 
posted by Leksi
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The iBoob Is All the Rage!
[ advertising ] [ parody ]
 
We all know that sex and rock-n-roll make for good bedfellows. Now the two have come together in a musical marriage of manufactured marvel.

The magical iBoob is a chip that is added to a woman's breast implant that allows her luscious lovelies to serenade you with your favorite mp3's. You don't even want to know where the control is hidden... It's all in the secret diary of Steve Jobs (well, the fake one).

But if this were true, then the breasts would be a perfect sensory experience. We all love to look at them, touch and taste them. And the scent of a woman can be tantalizing. I guess for now, that fifth sense will just have to be satisfied by the moans she makes with your expert sexual prowess.
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Hardcore Will Never Be the Same Again
[ parody ]
 


Author David McCandless brings us Porn for Girls by Girls (except he's a guy and there's really no porn there).

Surprisingly, there is a man on this planet who has a clue when it comes to what most women actually want. But, disappointingly, it's not really porn. That's right, we want you to cook for us and give us cuddles and chocolates. And never ever tell us we're fat, even if we are. Unless you like playing with your hand and sleeping on the sofa.

McCandless only got half of it right, though. Most of us also want hot, body-trembling sex that ends in climax and leaves us wanting to take up smoking.
 
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My Prediction for 2009 AVN Movie of the Year
[ parody ]
 
They're certainly no Eli Cross, but you can tell the folks at College Humor did their homework when it comes to the age-old porn formula. I mean seriously, what pizza guy/pool boy/UPS man/other uniformed individual doesn't get free sex from a hot and horny housewife when making a "service call"??



Seeing man pecs undulate makes this video extra special. And I learned something new: Lick the door to get your man hot!
 
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Hillary Scott Reprises Role of Britney Rears in Britney Goes Gonzo
[ parody ] [ hillary scott ] [ hot release ] [ hustler ]
 

Well, it seems like Hillary Scott is on top of the Porn World right now. Britney Rears 4 - Britney Goes Gonzo stars many of my favorite performers including Daisy Marie, Jamie Elle, Veronique Vega, Kissy Kapri, Sativa Rose, Jessica Sweet and of course, Hillary Scott in the starring role!

In Britney Rears 4, sexy lollipops that act as powerful aphrodisiacs turn their unsuspecting suckers into collective sex fiends. With nine sex scenes and over four hours of content, this DVD is loaded. Will Rider, who directed the popular parody hit, Not the Bradys XXX, tells AVN:

We took Britney to places she’s never been including multiple group sex scenes and some really dirty anal action because it looks like the other Britney is getting the hell banged out of her on an almost nightly basis. If I could, I would use Hillary in everything we do because she’s an excellent actress, a wonderful sex performer and really quite a big star.

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Ron Jeremy is Hawt
[ performer ] [ parody ] [ youtube ] [ mainstream ] [ ron jeremy ]
 

With all this Britney Spears media coverage, we thought it was about time to get in on it. Unfortunately, the closest thing we could find was Ron Jeremy in fishnets and a blonde wig.



Ron's got a career as a Britney impersonator if porn doesn't work out.
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Tribute to My Blow-Up Doll
[ youtube ] [ parody ]
 
And the nomination for least-laid musicians goes to...

Finally, an honest love song that cuts to the chase. Like anybody buys your Romeo routine. Pshaw.
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