Philip Seaton was undergoing a simple circumcision procedure when the surgeon decided to - without the patient's or family's consent - lop off his penis.
Seaton, 61 of Shelby County, Kentucky, woke up to the horror of an involuntary "penisectomy". As you can imagine, the anguished man and his wife are suing the surgeon - Dr. John Patterson, the anesthesiologist - Dr. Oliver James, and the clinic where the procedure took place - Commonwealth Urology, PSC.
Dr. Patterson's lame defense is that he found cancer in Seaton's penis during the circumcision procedure. Instead of first obtaining consent from the patient, or allowing his patient to seek a second opinion, Patterson got all Lorena Bobbitt on his patient's manhood. Dr. Patterson was not available for statement, but this is how I imagine the conversation:
Q: So Dr. Patterson, do you have a God Complex or is it standard protocol to cut off the patient's penis without any prior consent?
A: I have an M.D., I am board certified in urology, I successfully operated on the former Kentucky Governor Wilkinson*, and I am never, ever sick at sea. So I ask you; when someone goes into that chapel and they fall on their knees and they pray to God that their wife doesn't miscarry or that their daughter doesn't bleed to death or that their mother doesn't suffer acute neural trauma from postoperative shock, who do you think they're praying to? Now, go ahead and read your Bible, Mr. & Mrs. Seaton, and you go to your church, and, with any luck, you might win the annual raffle, but if you're looking for God, he was in the Commonwealth Urology operating room the day of your procedure, and he doesn't like to be second guessed. You ask me if I have a God complex. Let me tell you something: I am God.**
Josh Hartnett was caught on camera having sex in London Soho Hotel's library with a "mystery woman." Here's what a "mole", presumably a staff member of the exclusive hotel, told the Daily Mirror:
Josh and the girl were getting pretty hot and heavy. After stumbling in quite late, they legged it to the library and immediately closed all the curtains so that no one could see in. Unfortunately, the hotel has security cameras all over the place - the library included. This means their every spit and cough was recorded, and cringing hotel workers saw all of Josh's X-rated moves. more >>
We reported that Janine was in trouble with the IRS in July. Well, according to MSNBC Janine has pleaded guilty for failure to pay thousands in taxes. She faces fines and possible jail time.
We can't help notice that Vivid predicted this a while ago ...
A man armed with a 3ft sword kicked down his neighbor's door in an apparent bid to save a woman from being raped. Except the only one in the apartment was his male neighbor. The female noises had come from the adult film that the stunned neighbor had been viewing earlier that evening. Oops.
Oconomowoc, Wisconsin: Even the town name has 5 O's! I especially appreciate the "wack-off" hand close-up at 1:28. It adds a nice touch to the story.
A Polish man who was visiting a brothel accidentally ran into his wife of 14 years when he spotted her among the brothel's employees. The wife had told her husband that she was working at a store in a nearby town to make some extra money on the side.
The shocked husband told reporter Chris Borowski of the Polish tabloid Super Express:
I was dumbfounded. I thought I was dreaming.
I'm sure she was as well. I mean all this time she was giving him free sex when she could have been paid... more >>
Wal-Mart, known for its classy image (not really), has raised the bar yet again with this cute pair of hot pink panties. On the front they read, "Who Needs Credit Cards..." and on the tush they go on to read, "When you have Santa". No, these aren't a sex shop novelty item, but get this, they are juniors panties targeting young girls!
I know that there's nothing like pussy to get a man to open up his wallet, but these suggestive little pink panties, that don't look festive despite the Santa reference, push the boundaries of taste to a place that even people running an adult web site don't ever want to visit. more >>
