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Nuts and Bolts?
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08:58 AM 06/03/08 |
| [ australia ] [ stupidity ] [ masturbation ] |
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 An Australian man had to undergo an hour and half of surgery for sixteen stainless steel washers that were tightly lodged on the shaft of his penis.
Fire rescue officers were on the scene at the man's home around 3 AM on Monday in an attempt to dislodge the washers, which proved too tight for routine extraction. The man had to be transported to a nearby hospital in the north-west Sydney suburb of Hornsby, where surgeons were forced to use special cutting devices provided by fire services as the hospital's normal ring-removers were too small for the girth of the washers.
Unfortunately for the gene pool, this genius did not suffer any lasting damage, but according to news reports, the "mysterious" circumstances around which he managed to get sixteen washers stuck on his penis still remain unknown. Now, I'm no forensic accident investigator, but here's a theory provided by yours truly:
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posted by Leksi
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Yanking the Crank Like a Champ
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07:44 PM 04/21/08 |
| [ sex ed ] [ masturbation ] |
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 Everyone masturbates. Let's start with that. For women, there's a near endless variety of gadgets available to help facilitate the process. For men, however, the best way is still all about the technique. The hand and some lube are the basics to buttering the corn. And yes, this article is chock full of colorful euphemisms for male masturbation, so read on if you dare.
While researching the topic of waxing the dolphin, I came across an interesting article on Co-Ed Magazine regarding the top five ways to buff the banana. To give you a taste, number one - dubbed “ORAL” SIMULATION - reads:
To simulate the feeling of lips sliding over the penis head: Lube up your erection and hold the shaft in one hand. Put your dominant hand’s index and middle fingers together horizontally, palm toward your face, in front of the penis head. Push the head into the gap between the fingers. The fingers should be relaxed, not tense. Now pull back and do this over and over the top third of the penis. Feel how the fingers conform to the penis’s contour as they slide over the head and back. As you do this, position your other hand behind the “lips,” and grip and squeeze the head as you push the penis in.
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posted by Leksi
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Female Masturbation in Independent Film
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06:23 PM 04/04/08 |
| [ silver screen ] [ masturbation ] |
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 According to Jerry Portwood of the New York Press, "we're in the middle of a Renaissance of female masturbation scenes in independent films." He goes on to cite various scenes in some well-made works of cinematic enlightenment where the lead actress diddles herself, including Boarding Gate (Asia Argento), Mulholland Drive (Naomi Watts), Margot at the Wedding (Nicole Kidman!), Anatomy of Hell (Amira Cesar), Secretary (Maggie Gyllenhaal) and 9 Songs (Margo Stilley). Actually, at least one of these films - Secretary (2002) with Maggie Gyllenhaal and James spader, has inspired an adult version: Adam & Eve's Perfect Secretary (2005) starring Carmen Luvana in her first anal. Even the two box covers of these films are starkly similar (pictured).
The last film listed, 9 Songs, which I will be renting promptly (thank you Netflix!), features actual penis-to-pussy penetration. Here is what Portwood says of the film:
It almost seems silly to include Michael Winterbottom’s quasi-porn. Sure, there’s good lighting, but all we get in this film is an American girl and horse hung Kieran O’Brien getting it on with full (real) penetration and plenty of other kinky bits. Oh, and it's interspliced with scenes from the two going to rock concerts. Don’t remember the self-pleasure? That’s cuz you were too busy freeze-framing her riding his stuff.
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posted by Leksi
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