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And You Think YOU Have it Bad
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01:32 AM 09/26/08 |
| [ oops ] [ health ] [ lawyers ] |
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 Philip Seaton was undergoing a simple circumcision procedure when the surgeon decided to - without the patient's or family's consent - lop off his penis.
Seaton, 61 of Shelby County, Kentucky, woke up to the horror of an involuntary "penisectomy". As you can imagine, the anguished man and his wife are suing the surgeon - Dr. John Patterson, the anesthesiologist - Dr. Oliver James, and the clinic where the procedure took place - Commonwealth Urology, PSC.
Dr. Patterson's lame defense is that he found cancer in Seaton's penis during the circumcision procedure. Instead of first obtaining consent from the patient, or allowing his patient to seek a second opinion, Patterson got all Lorena Bobbitt on his patient's manhood. Dr. Patterson was not available for statement, but this is how I imagine the conversation:
Q: So Dr. Patterson, do you have a God Complex or is it standard protocol to cut off the patient's penis without any prior consent?
A: I have an M.D., I am board certified in urology, I successfully operated on the former Kentucky Governor Wilkinson*, and I am never, ever sick at sea. So I ask you; when someone goes into that chapel and they fall on their knees and they pray to God that their wife doesn't miscarry or that their daughter doesn't bleed to death or that their mother doesn't suffer acute neural trauma from postoperative shock, who do you think they're praying to? Now, go ahead and read your Bible, Mr. & Mrs. Seaton, and you go to your church, and, with any luck, you might win the annual raffle, but if you're looking for God, he was in the Commonwealth Urology operating room the day of your procedure, and he doesn't like to be second guessed. You ask me if I have a God complex. Let me tell you something: I am God.**
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posted by Leksi
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This IS Your Parent's STD
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04:04 PM 07/16/08 |
| [ old fucks ] [ health ] |
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 Yes, your mum and dad are doing it (or perhaps that's you). In fact, there's been a 139% increase in syphilis... among 45-64 year-olds! This may seem strange as society expects reckless behavior from teens and younger adults, but some are calling the surge in STDs among the baby boom generation an epidemic.
Sexually transmitted infections have doubled in under a decade in people over 45 and are now rising faster than in the young. The Health Protection Agency (HPA) study said internet dating and erectile dysfunction drugs (i.e. Viagra) were partly to blame. Men were most likely to be affected, with increases in herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea and genital warts. Within the over-45 age group, men and people aged 55 to 59 were most likely to have a sexually transmitted infection (STI).
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posted by Leksi
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