Congratulations to Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz on their first pregnancy together! Jenna has had bad luck with fertility in the past, including a miscarriage during her marriage to Jay Grdina, as well as a failed in vitro attempt. This has to be great news for the new mom-to-be, and we couldn't be happier for the pair. A source tells the New York Post today: She had a bunch of meetings and things planned for Fashion Week, including meetings for her own line, but she's postponed everything. She's completely thrilled, this is something she's wanted for a very long time. Every other celebrity blog is covering this story, peppering their articles with snide remarks about Jenna's barren porn womb to off-color jokes about her anorexia and future child. The woman is a cultural icon: Jenna Jameson has accomplished some amazing things that few of us will ever accomplish in our lifetimes, including starting a multimillion dollar empire and breaking into the mainstream after conquering the adult film industry. If anyone deserves a break from the media, it's Jenna! If this were Katie Holmes or some other actress there would be multimillion dollar offers for pictures and People Magazine cover talk, but alas, poor Jenna is stigmatized, and as one tasteless blogger writes: Of course this happened. Tito’s sperm didn’t have the roadblock 62,867 other men did. Of course I mean Jenna’s colon. Considering the size of his head, it’s no wonder he decided to impregnate her — she’s the only one whose vadge was big enough to give birth to his kid. In all seriousness, this conception is just as miraculous as the Virgin Mary’s. Especially when you consider Jenna’s uterus is more beat up than a Toyota executive visiting Detroit. This blogger clearly has no idea what he's talking about as Jenna has never done anal on camera except once and only once, with a vibrator!
But this blogger takes the cake: This kid is going to be so miserable. Like, pretty much anything anyone says about his mama is going to be true. Any joke that begins with “Yo momma’s such a slut …” will have to end with a nod of begrudging agreement from this child, instead of a left hook. That’s unfortunate. Hopefully by the time the kid is in school we'll be living in a more tolerant world. And if not, at least he or she will have a trust fund to comfort them, and a dad who can kick anyone's ass. Personally, I'd rather have Jenna and Tito as parents than a lot of other celebs.
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