Hustler's latest parody, Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?, just wrapped up production and the first scene is now available on Video on Demand (VOD) to Hustler.com subscribers, including new members. As the folks at Hustler put it, why wait for the release of an actual Sarah Palin sex tape when Hustler has taken the time to make one for you?
Who’s Nailin’ Paylin? stars our favorite brunette MILF Lisa Ann as "Serra Paylin", Nina Hartley as Hillary Clinton, Jada Fire as Condoleeza Rice and Mike Horner as Bill O'Reilly. Lisa Ann has aged very well, and though she certainly is a dead ringer for Governor Palin, in my humble opinion, she's the hotter version. If you don't believe me, judge for yourself by viewing the teaser vid and stills from the set of Who's Nailin' Paylin below.
Director Jerome Tanner will be shooting a total of five hardcore scenes, including two threeways starring Lisa Ann, our Sarah Palin look-alike. Upon being questioned on her decision to take part in a Palin spoof, Lisa Ann stayed true to form:
When asked to play the role of Serra Paylin in Hustler’s spoof, Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?, I was immediately on board! I’ve never felt so ‘maverick’ in my life!!
The first scene showcases "Serra Paylin's" sexual prowess and her true down-home hospitality when two stranded Russians (Sasha and Mick Blue) find themselves at her doorstep. We find out their tank has a flat tire, so Paylin lets the boys make a phone call to the Kremlin, which the Russians explain to the confused Paylin, means "tow truck." Well, things soon heat up as the Russians find Paylin's two biggest assets irresistible.
Like many of you, I first learned of the Hustler spoof through a Craiglist ad that read:
Looking for a Sarah Palin lookalike for an adult film to be shot in next 10 days.
Major adult studio.
Please send pix, stats etc. ASAP
No anal required
Following the media blitz surrounding the Craiglist ad, Radar claimed that Larry Flynt submitted a copy of an excerpt from the parody's script to them. Here's the supposed "excerpt":
(Open on the PALIN residence, Wasilla, Alaska. Evening. Governor SARAH PALIN is sitting on the couch, reading "all of the magazines." She is wearing a satin negligee and bunny slippers. Her luxurious brown hair is in a bun. Her glasses rest just so on the bridge of her nose. TODD is out of town on business. TRIGG is peacefully asleep upstairs. There is a firm knock at the door. PALIN puts down her reading material and goes to answer it.)
PALIN: Who is it?
GRUFF MALE VOICE: It's JOE, the tanning-bed repairman.
(PALIN unlocks the door and opens it)
PALIN: Hiya! You were supposed to be here two hours ago, doncha know?
JOE: I'm sorry. My snowmobile broke down outside of Matunska. I had to walk the rest of the way.
PALIN: Well, you're in luck. I just baked a batch of chocolate-chip cookies. Why don't you come inside and I'll fix you a plate of 'em?
(JOE obliges. He takes a seat on the couch. PALIN enters the kitchen and returns shortly after with the cookies. She gives them to JOE, but not before looking him up and down.)
PALIN: My oh my. That's quite a toolbelt you have on. It looks heavy.
JOE: I have a big hammer.
PALIN: Oh, I betcha do. I love a big hammer. But I love screwdrivers, too! And wrenches. The fact is I love and respect all of America's diverse tools, big and small. They're what helps make us so great as a nation. Here, let me take that off for ya.
(PALIN takes a seat on the coach beside JOE and starts to undo his belt. He stops her.)
JOE: Let's go take a look at the tanning bed first.
PALIN: Oooh, okay.
(PALIN leads JOE to the tanning salon in the basement. JOE carefully inspects the machine.)
JOE: Looks like there are just a bunch of screws loose.
PALIN: (seductively) You're in luck. I fully support off-shore and on-shore drilling.
(PALIN pounces on JOE and throws him onto the top of the tanning bed. She quickly rips off his jeans.)
PALIN: God almighty! You are hung like a moose. Now I have to eat ya!
JOE: I'm bigger than a moose. Do you have any contraceptives?
PALIN: It's okay. I already took a morning-after pill.
JOE: Um, are you sure it works that way?
PALIN: Are you asking me if I know what a morning-after pill is? Because I totally do! I'll get back to ya with specifics.
(The two proceed to make furious love in a multitude of positions. PALIN amply demonstrates that she has enough experience.)
PALIN: Fuck me harder! HARDER! Pound me until my head is so empty that I can't even remember the name of the one Supreme Court case I actually know! I want it to burn. Burn like a banned book. Oh God, Oh God, OH MY GOD! MAKE ME SEE RUSSIA FROM HERE!
This is funny, except the above scene doesn't exist in the official script. In fact, Flynt never gave Radar a script, but Julie over at Hustler was kind enough to send the adultfilmdatabase the entire, official Who's Nailin' Paylin script! The script was written by Roger Krypton on 10/01/08, and we're going to share a few choice excerpts with you on Thursday afternoon!
With the elections looming large, this political parody is a welcome bit of relief to an ugly campaign season. As you can see, there's plenty of original humor mixed in with hot MILF sex. So, will I be watching Who’s Nailin’ Paylin? in its entirety? You betchya!