 Imagine the world's greatest athletes in their respective sports - all young, tight, tone bodies in their prime - housed in one big village thousands of miles from home. Well, we don't really have to imagine it, because that is exactly what happens every couple of years at the Olympic games, including the recently concluded 2008 Olympics in Beijing, China. Former two-time Olympic Ping Pong player, Matthew Syed, has written a nifty article about his "behind-the-scenes" Olympic experiences.
Orgies, one-night stands and flirtatious encounters abound among these testosterone and androgen filled competitors. To illustrate, here are some juicy samplings from Syed's exposé:
The chaps who win gold medals - even those as geeky as Michael Phelps - are the principal objects of desire for many female athletes. There is something about sporting success that makes a certain type of woman go crazy - smiling, flirting and sometimes even grabbing at the chaps who have done the business in the pool or on the track. An Olympic gold medal is not merely a route to fame and fortune; it is also a surefire ticket to writhe.
...
I am not implying, for one moment, that every athlete in Beijing is at it. Just that 99 per cent of them are.
However, Syed goes on to write that if you're a woman, a gold metal can be more of a hindrance than an asset, but that also means that those eliminated in the first rounds get more time to shag. In fact, a lot of the hotter female athletes have been featured in Playboys from around the world. Take for example, German Olympians from the 2008 games Nicole Reinhardt, Katharina Sholz, Petra Niemann and Romy Tarangul who all posed nude for German Playboy. Then there was Olympic Breast Stroke champ, Amanda Beard's, Playboy centerfold pictorial and nude PETA ad (pictured below). There are numerous other examples, that a quick Google search can reveal.
Syed goes on to document his Olympic village sexual conquests from Barcelona to Beijing:
I played my first Games in Barcelona in 1992 and got laid more often in those two and a half weeks than in the rest of my life up to that point. That is to say twice, which may not sound a lot, but for a 21-year-old undergraduate with crooked teeth, it was a minor miracle.
... the female athletes - literally thousands of them - strutting, shimmying, sashaying and jogging around the village, clad in Lycra and exposing yard upon yard of shiny, toned, rippling and unimaginably exotic flesh. Women from all the countries of the world: muscular, virile, athletic and oozing estrogen. I spent so much time in a state of lust that I could have passed out.
This is amazing, because Matthew Syed (pictured below) is a ping pong player. If some virginal, unattractive table tennis player can get that much ass, just imagine what a ripped, buff, tan swimmer or track and field athlete bags! Syed continues with some quotes from other athletes, including a fellow 'ping ponger':
This sex fest was not limited to Barcelona [1992]: the same thing happened in Sydney in 2000, my second Olympics as an athlete, and is happening right here in Beijing, where this time I'm a commentator. I spoke to an Aussie table tennis player this week to check out the village vibe and he launched into the breathless patter common to any Olympic debutant: “It is unbelievable in there; everyone is totally crazy once they are out of their competitions. God knows what it is going to be like this weekend. It is like a world within a world.” A British runner (anonymous again: athletes are not supposed to talk to journalists unaccompanied by a PR type, least of all about sex) said: “The swimmers finished earlier in the week and it was like there was an eruption.”
This could potentially turn out to be the solution to our so-called "fat kid epidemic." Gym teachers should post Syed's article in high school locker rooms, and sport participation will no doubt shoot through the roof.
Lest we think this is just one man's view, there's an interesting article about free condoms passed out to athletes during various Olympics, past and present, on Canada.com:
The Sydney Olympics ran out [of free condoms]. Athens doubled the number. So organizers of the Beijing Games are hoping 100,000 condoms will satisfy the needs of Olympic athletes.
While sex is not an Olympic sport it is expected to be an activity in the Beijing village housing 10,500 athletes, all of whom are in great shape and with plenty of free time on their hands once knocked out of the Games.
So there's 10,500 athletes and 100,000 free condoms, assuming roughly 5250 'couples', that's almost 20 condoms per coupling. And it's not just the athletes who are horny, but us viewers are also getting off to watching the Olympians perform, as a True.com pole reveals:
48 percent of men said gymnasts have the sexiest uniforms.
39 percent of women said swimmers/divers have the sexiest uniforms. Only 1 percent favored cyclists in tight bike shorts.
66 percent of men said gymnasts would be the best in bed (presumably for flexibility reasons). Only 1 percent liked the idea of sleeping with someone skilled with a bow and arrow.
60 percent of men and 50 percent of women said they have dated someone outside their nationality.
Now that we know Matthew Syed is in earnest, here's his concluding thought on sex in the Olympic village:
I suggest that it is the coming together (if you will forgive the expression) of these factors that creates such an explosive sexual cocktail within the security-controlled perimeter of the Olympic village. Not that this is a bad thing. I have always regarded sexual promiscuity - for a single person at least - as a basic human right...
Amen!
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